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michelle [userpic]

A note.

May 11th, 2009 (09:59 pm)

To Jo

Its been a long time since i wrote to you, but i have found myself thinking about you even more so as to not to forget you.

I have met with your brother on a few occasions and he seems to be doing well, hes pulling himself together and hes a very strong man, ive never really known how to talk about you to him but he has somehow always made it easy, he is remarkable.

Everything in my life is ok, in fact generally im quite happy but i do have these odd moments like this evening when i just get reminded about everythng i have lost recently, i think this was all triggered by thinking of missy, and im going to indulge in a bit of misery because i can.

I thought about you the other day i was driving in my car to cheltenham and i got so completely lost in memories and thoughts, that the journey flew by, it was almost like i was reliving them with you.

I miss you like crazy.

I also miss my cat, alot, seems odd that i havent progressed as much as i would like with all this and that i still find myself in some depths of despair. Im really feeling like i spend alot of my time floating along pretending im absolutely fine and having a pretty good time, but then there are moments like this that make me feel like things are pretty shitty.

In fact this has been one of the worst moments ive had since missy died, i feel like ive been hit by a train and that im being dragged along and im not entirely sure how to get back on my feet. I know i will. I owe it to you, and everyone else has spent so long picking up the pieces and trying to fix me. So tomorrow i will dust myself off, smile and get on with it.

If i just keep swimming ill get through.

Miss you loads Jo and Missy xxx